Keeping the Bottom 50% the Bottom 50%: Lets Make Pizza a Vegetable

by morganschapiro

If I had to design a system to guarantee that the bottom half of the country could never escape their fate there are a couple thing I would do (please bear with my sarcasm):
1. I would make their education sub standard, this way even if they make it to a good higher education institution they will fail there.
2. I would create standardized systems that reward those with money and recreational time.
3. I would attempt to flood as much useless information into their minds as possible. Shows like MTVs 16 and pregnant should replace any decent broadcast media (what an oxymoron).
4. I would make sure that the daily institutions that the bottom 50% rely on serve the nutritionally worst food and help to create the worst possible and most expensive and destructive habits.

Unfortunately for the United States, I am trying to achieve none of these things while the United States government is reaching these goals as fast as possible. In the past couple of days, they manged to think of something that even I could not have imagined (and lets recall that I really want to be a consultant): They declared pizza a vegetable.

This is, however, a bit of an oversimplification. Congress blocked the USDA from implementing strong guidelines that forbid the two tablespoons of tomato paste in frozen pizza to be considered a vegetable as it has been in previous years. A subsidized meal cannot be served if it does not contain a single serving of vegetables.

How can congress justify serving the least healthy food to the underprivileged children who require subsidized food? In this case it must be lobbying. No politician will vote against a budget bill because of such a provision, but maybe its time they should. If congress is going to help to turn the country around this is the kind of thing they need to take a stand for. I see no value in allowing schools to serve nutritionally poor foods, its just another case of kicking the cost down the line in the form of greater healthcare expenses in years to come.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45306416/ns/today-today_health/t/pizza-vegetable-congress-says-yes/#.TsVR7_JJ92M
Pizza is a vegetable? Congress says yes